Encounter with Pakistan

Encounter with Pakistan (a long short story)
<based on true incidents>
 
2006. I was still under Mukesh Ambani’s payroll, in a remote village in Modi’s Gujarat. Desperate to leave the place and more importantly wanted to shift the line of work. Though interesting to start with, Production was not to my liking. There was nothing I could do logically and analytically there. MBA was the obvious switching tool.
 
CAT scores were not so great. Sometime between April and May, I was traveling to Chennai for my BIM interview. There were not too many flight operators at that time. So Bharuch to Mumbai overnight train. Stayed in the company guesthouse. Evening flight to Chennai.
 
Standing in the check-in queue, I found Senthil Samy. Most knew, including my boss, why I was traveling. But Senthil’s travel was a secret. He said he was traveling home. Little did I knew that he was going for his interview at Honeywell. We both were traveling light. I had a small bag which I was not checking in. He was carrying a shoulder bag.
 
An elderly man approached us.
‘Going to Chennai?’
‘Yes.’
‘Are you two traveling together? ‘
‘Yes.’
‘Are you going to check in those?’ Pointing our bags.
‘No.’
‘Then can you help us?’
‘What and how?’
This man pointed at his wife in another queue. She had two trolleys, occupied fully by large suitcases.
‘Our luggage is in excess. We are attending a close relative marriage in Chennai. So can you share our luggage.’
‘How? ‘
‘You take few of the bags and check in as if they are yours. So we don’t have to pay for excess luggage. Others in the queue have baggage. But you two don’t have. So can you?’
Air travel was new to me. Never realised we could do something brilliant to save money on excess baggage.
We agreed. Collected few bags from them and we checked in. None paid extra. As we moved out of the check in counter, we waved at them and then an ‘All is Well’ gesture.
 
We completed the security check and reached the gates.
Both of us got sunk into our own thoughts. Didn’t know we both were thinking the same.
‘Where did he say he was coming from?’ I asked.
‘Islamabad, right.’
‘Islamabad as in ‘The capital of Pakistan is Islamabad’?’.
‘ Must be.’
We didn’t speak for some time. Another long thought process.
‘The check-in counter lady asked us whether those are our bags. And we said Yes. She asked us, whether we knew what we had inside the bags. And we said Yes. No explosives, no weapons, she asked and we said No. She asked whether we packed it ourselves and we said Yes.’
‘Ye…..’
Another long pause.
‘But we didn’t know any of that. We lied. What if.. ‘
‘If..’
‘You know.. What if, they had something in it.’
‘Something as in.. ‘ He knew what it meant.
‘You know Sep 11. Flight attacks. Twin towers. Afghanistan, Pakistan, Osama, Al Qaeda, Jihadi, India-Pakistan. You can relate.’
Pause.
‘But they don’t look like such people. They are old. And they have come as a couple.’
‘Yes. Maybe we are worrying too much.’
‘Yes.’
Another minute went by.
‘Let’s say, there is something in the bags and they find it now. Who will they catch?’
‘The bags are checked in with our names. So, us.’
‘If you remember, the old man chose which bags we should carry.’
‘Yeah.’
‘And the couple have not yet come to the gates yet. In fact, they didn’t even come for the security check.’
‘Yes. I have also been watching.’
‘You are?’
‘Yes. I have been watching since we cleared the security check.’
‘Damn it. We are screwed. They must have given those bags and left without traveling. Bombs in the bags may be.’ I sat there with hands over head.
‘Shall we go and confess to the security now so that they can alarm?’
‘That will be good. At least we will be clean. We can have them check the videos also. Come let’s go.’
As we walked looking for a police, we watched the couple waiting in the queue for security check.
‘They are there.’
‘Should we be worried? Should we still go and inform the police?’
‘Don’t know. But what if we are wrong. We will look like fools. And we crossed the law by accepting someone’s bags and lying about it to be ours.’
‘Yeah. Let’s forget it.’
‘Agree. But let’s keep an eye on them.’
‘Not one. All four of ours on them.’
Few minutes went by.
‘If there is something in the bags, they will find it while scanning before loading right.’
‘I think so.’
‘And when they find it, they will catch us right.’
‘….’
All of a sudden, it looked like all the policemen were watching us. It was becoming difficult for us to watch the couple and the police at the same time. Every time, the speaker system went live, I prayed it wasn’t a call for us to meet the airport officials.
After one particular announcement, I asked him ‘Was that announcement for us?’
He removed the headphones from his ears and asked ‘What?’
I repeated.
He replied ‘I was not listening. I didn’t want to. I was playing music with loud volume. Scared. Were they asking for us?’
‘The flight is delayed because of ‘security reasons’.’
‘Ohh. Maybe they found.’
‘Found what? ‘
‘Whatever is in those bags.’
‘Don’t scare me more.’
‘The end is near.’
But nothing happened.
The next announcement was a temporary relief to us. They have cleared all the issues and will commence boarding.
 
‘We request the passengers from rows 21 – 30 to board the flight now.’
Ours were in the row: 22.
‘Shall we board?’ I asked.
‘Let’s wait for them to board first. What if they have come all the way to the gate to ensure that we don’t doubt them and then they see us off and then they leave?’
‘You have a point. Let’s not board now. Let us board together with them.’
We waited. They were not seated between 21 and 30. They were not rushing. So were we.
The queue got shorter. Then came the last announcement for the 21 – 30 seaters to board.
The airline employee standing next to us asked as a formality ‘Sir, what’s your seat?’.
We showed our tickets casually.
‘Sir, you can board now.’
‘No, we will wait.’
‘The announcement was for you to board. Please board.’
‘It’s OK. We will wait.’
‘The queue is shorter now. Please proceed.’
‘Please leave us alone.’ I shouted almost.
‘You need to help us in boarding quickly. That’s why we wanted to board the back benchers first. Please coordinate.’ This time he wasn’t requesting.
‘No. And you can’t force us.’
He was about to say something. But we rushed to the queue before he started. The queue got empty and they have started boarding the front seaters. The couple was the first in the queue. We joined the queue following them. We boarded. We knew that whatever was in the bags, we four of us are together in it now.
They were a couple of rows ahead of us. As we went past them, they smiled at us and I noticed a wickedness in it.
 
Another delay. Another security concern. We were sweating heavily despite the lighter temperature inside. Then finally the flight took off.
 
They served dinner. We were not in a mood to eat. But then I opened the pack and looked around for a spoon, and found a fork and a knife with it.
‘They also would have got it, right.’
‘Yes.’
‘What if they use these to hijack the flight?’
We lost the appetite totally. I kept the fork and knife in my jeans pocket, just in case. We kept peeking over the seats, watching them. And every 10 minutes we took a break to the restroom alternatively. And we went all the way to the restroom in the front, though the one at the back was closer so that we can watch them as we go past them. They were busy with food. The knife and fork in their hands weren’t good news for us.
 
And this one time, the man got up and walked towards the pilot cabin. We both got up from the seat in a hurry, almost ripped apart the seat belts. And literally ran to him. And just when I was about to raise my hand to stop him from back, he opened the restroom and went in. We with at the door until he finished and came out. We followed him back. We could have been easily mistaken for escorts to the elderly man.
Few minutes down the line, they switched off the cabin lights. Most of them dozed off. But we could not.
Nothing happened after that.
 
We landed safely. We had one more task in hand before we were freed completely. We wanted to ensure that we take the bags, remove the tags with our names in them, and then run away.
As everyone got ready to leave the flight, we pushed past everyone and stood ahead of them. We offloaded and walked towards the luggage pick up area. We made a note of the carousel. But then the couple were also in a rush and they walked passed us briskly. While they did so, they kept watching us and discussing something about us.
‘Something is wrong. All of sudden, they are running away. Maybe they want to leave the bags and go away.
Come let’s walk faster.’ I said.
And we overtook them and almost ran. They could not compete with us and were left behind us. We didn’t know that they assumed that we were planning to run away with their bags which are legally ours now.
We reached the carousel and stood in the front exactly where the luggages were offloaded to the carousel. The couple also came and stood in front of us.
airport_baggage-jpg-size-custom-crop-1086x673
As the bags started to flow in, we started to look at the tags of every bag, as were not sure which was the bags. We have only seen the bags once when we checked in. Someone in front us shouted at us why we were looking at every bag tag, as it was delaying the flow of the bags in the carousel. We were not in that frame of mind to listen or argue with them.
As soon as we found both the bags, we lifted them from the carousel. The couple stood in front of us blocking our way. They held to their bags, pulled it. We removed the tags from both bags and then rushed away leaving them with their bags.
Relieved finally.
 
As I left the airport, a security man came running shouting at me.
‘Sir sir.’
I wanted to run away.
‘Sir sir.’
But then a person who had come to welcome a passenger blocked me and asked me to stop.
I stood there. The security man came to me and asked me to come inside for a security check.
‘Sir, I didn’t do anything. I don’t know what was even in the bags. Please, sir.’ I begged.
‘Please come with me.’
I looked around for Senthil and he was nowhere to be seen.
They took me inside the airport and checked. The metal detector beeped when it reached by jeans pockets. ‘What’s inside?’
‘Nothing, sir.’
He pulled out the fork and knife from my pocket. I remembered then that I had put them on the flight.
He looked at me sheepishly and said ‘Sir, you look educated and working. Why do you take such small things? Please leave.’
I should have cried of shame, right there. But that was the last thing that came to my mind right at that moment.

Chaos Theory

In India, any carefully planned executed project will go through confusion, criticism, inconvenience and chaos. Applicable to projects of any nature, in any industry. There are no exceptions. There will be a section that will never be happy with the implementation. Given the population, the fact that most of us still doesn’t have the basic facilities, undisciplined and uncivilized society, chaos is inevitable. Imagine a situation, if Piyush Goyal decides to revamp the entire power sector while there are villages with no electricity and implementation happening parallely in many other villages. **Tough**
We have been hearing this discountinuing high value notes strategy for a long time, from all political parties. Even in other countries. This plan even featured in a Tamil movie and that was a hit. Modi was fixated and focused to this plan since he took charge. It is even possible R3 was against it, for his good reasoning skills and Modi waited for him to leave. Key to this project was the quick implementation, with no time for the corrupts to react, having provided ample legal opportunities to come clean. So secrecy was crucial. And he had to do it when he knew many in his party are corrupt, he will lose a bunch of his vote bank, with no assurance that this move will bring betterness, it can backfire in 2019 which otherwise would have been an easy election for him, the entire media vulturing for his failure, his regrouped political opponents, and on top of all it concerns money that is in use to every citizen every time.

Unplanned implementation was the easiest way. Given that, the implementation plans (though reactive) have been good, the banks have cooperated well, and then the people (atleast most of them) have expressed willingness to go through the short term pains. People believe in Modi and that trust didn’t exist in the past. *Kudos*

Good job done so far. This is only the start, hopefully. Modi should say a sorry formally for this trouble and take this for closure.

CM with limitations

CM with limitations (Higher limit: more than the cost of a pen. Lower limit: 1 crore reward for any potential vote bank deaths).

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Reporter: Sir, what actions have you taken for dengue in Delhi?
Pimp: (refers his flow chart) For Delhi related, Ask LG.
R: Sir, what about pollution in Delhi?
P: I replied already. Delhi related, Ask LG.
R: Sir. about the farmer suicides?
P: (refers his flow chart again) Farmer suicides related to Suit boot ki sarkar related to Ambani agent. So, Ask Modi.
R: Sir, farmer suicide in your rally in Delhi?
P: How many times do I need to tell you? Delhi means Ask LG. Should I give you this flow chart?
R: Sir, but it was your rally.
P: But it happened in Delhi.
R: Sir, about OROP suicide? Should I ask LG?
P: (flow chart again) No. That comes under the ‘Attack Modi Opportunity’ classification. So for that, Ask me. I announce 1 crore reward.
R: Sir, about your accusation on you overhearing the judges on phone tapping?
P: That comes under the ‘Exceptions’ classification. So, Ask IB.
R: Sir, Delhi…
P: Ask LG.
R: Sir, development..
P: Ask Modi.
R: Sir..
P: Ask..
R: Sir..
P: Ask…
R: Ask Modi.
P: I am a corrupt bureaucrat and politician. I really do not know how to even administer Delhi. Modi or LG has done nothing against me or my government. It is just that I am impotent..sorry incompetent.
R: Ask LG.
P: Delhi voters are stupid. They voted me. They voted me the second time even after I took money from Congress the first time to form government.
R: Ask LG.
P: All my ministers are criminals.
R: Ask Modi.
P: With his limitations, Modi is doing a good job for India. But I cant let him work. I want to become the PM of India.
R: Ask Modi.
P: There are no sources. They are all cooked up. I just make allegations against everyone and say so.
R: Thanks Sir for the interview.
P: Ask Modi.

SIMI Encounter

Police Constable (with due respect): Put your weapons down and get back to your cells. Or I will shoot you.
Terrorist: You can?
PC: Yes. I will.
Do you know who we are?
Terrorists.
Not that. Who we are by our community certificate?
Yes, I know.
And do you know what are you?
Yes. I am a Pol.. No no. I know.
Do you know which party is running the state?
Yes.
And the Country?
Yes.
Do you remember the riot that we did last time in the jail because the barber scratched my chin while shaving?
Yes.
You know how we questioned India on Surgical strikes, Ishrat, JNU?
We?
We, as in Presstitutes, Congress, Commies, Pakistan, ISIS, LeT, Al Qaida, Dawood bhai, AAP, Human activists.
Oh yes.
Do you have any video cameras recording you shooting us because we were trying to escape?
(Looks around) No.
They will ask for proof after you shoot us.
Oh yes, I know.
And you know what you will have to go through if you harm any of us? Your career? Your dignity? Your family?
(sobs)..
Now tell. Do you really want to shoot us?
Can you please give me that weapon? I will cut myself.
Thank you.

#SIMI

AAPtards

Not everyone who doesn’t like Congress, hates it. But when they speak against corruption or inaction against any long pending issue or dynasty politics, one can laugh at them, but rarely we get angry at them. But when they take on the common nemesis AAP, even on any corruption issue, I enjoy it. Everyone who doesn’t like AAP, hates them. And that is not even the rest of the AAPtards’ fault. The rest of the AAPtards who hate AAP, hate them not just for Kujli or his party members or any of their ideologies or performances so far (that doesn’t exist anyways), but mainly for their fans aka AAPtards. And they live up to that name happily and knowingly.

The best abusers (in the social media especially) have to be the AAPtards. Their second response to any political conversation will be off the topic and an abuse at you personally. The conversation need not be even anything related to AAP, but the outcome is the same. They know to respond the same way, as being taught by their leaders. Even hardcore Congress fans enjoy a joke on their leaders and party. Even Modi fans (including me) enjoy a joke or a troll on Modi or BJP, even if it is self-damaging. I am yet to see one AAPtard who enjoys or shares a joke on their leader and party members. Or simply they don’t understand the joke at all. They have no(n)sense of humor. Having been in social media all these days, I see that the funniest jokes in the social media are on Kujli. AAPtards find it difficult to ignore such trolls. They find it compulsive to respond and respond abusively. They need to have the last say in any conversation, however, stupid their argument is. They defy logic every time. They cannot even differentiate a joke, a troll, a satire from a scathing attack, despite the number of smileys you add. Everything against AAP is a personal attack on them. They need to win the scuffle and they know only one way to it. And they enjoy the mud happily.

All the party fans like their party because they have been associated with that party for a long time or they like the leader or their ideologies. Applies to BJP, Congress, Commies, and every regional party. But AAPtards believe in AAP and Kujli because they don’t like Modi. AAPtards will support anyone who is against Modi, even a terrorist organization. Such is the hatred ness for a man. Kujli knows it and feeds them well by blaming his inability every time on Modi. Otherwise, there is no reason for anyone to support a party that has failed in being the ‘We are not like any other Party’.

AAPtards also play the role of the best standup comedians when they say Kujli is the messiah, or he is a man of Hamam + Reynolds + Kujli (God) promise honesty, or their arrested MLAs are innocent (despite half of them accepting their crimes), or BJP changed the constitution overnight to strip off the power from the Delhi CM.

And finally, when they say Kujli is still in Delhi and working for the betterment of it, I believe them 100%. Because that saves me from die laughing.